I want to document this so I can look back and laugh.
So, the carnival in my town started tonight.
It was honestly the most crowded I've ever seen it, and it was only a Wednesday night.
Tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday are going to be insane.
So, because it was so crowded, mad people were cutting lines and whatever.
I was in a really big group because the world revolves around me and everyone loves me, or so I think.
We were waiting in one of the ridiculously long lines for some stupid ride.
There were like fifteen of us.
We were all hungry and thirsty.
So, about six of us leave to go get drinks and food.
The line was not going anywhere.
We had been there for twenty minutes without moving.
I left with Jimmy, Val and Alyssa to get lemonade.
Alyssa and Val get back before Jimmy and I because the crowds were crazy and we stopped to talk to some of our friends.
The line had moved a bit from where we had been, and we didn't find them right away.
I eventually saw them.
There wasn't much room to move around so I asked one lady to excuse me.
She LOST it.
I recognized her as a sub I had when my teacher had cancer in seventh grade.
She said, and I quote, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
*Insert Ally's blank expression*
I actually looked behind me because I didn't know what the hell she was talking about and didn't think she was talking to me.
She said "These are my three daughters, and you're cutting them. Do you think that's fair? Who the hell do you think you are? Do you know who I am?"
(I'm not lying. She really said "Do you know who I am?" I chuckle at that now because HEY BITCH. MY DAD RUNS THE CARNIVAL! SUCK IT).
Before I could even react to this ridiculousness, Val had jumped to my defense like she was working overtime.
She said "Excuse me. Are fucking kidding me? Who the fuck do you think YOU are?"
"No, I'm not fucking kidding you. You're group cut the whole line, and you just keep piling more and more kids on. It's not fucking fair to my kids."
I tried to explain to her that we were in line, and we had just gone to get food, and she just called me a slummy bitch.
For the record, I never raised my voice.
I never do.
I don't have to.
She called us a bunch of "fucking crackheads" (I'm assuming because the majority of our party was black and she was looking at them when she said it). She then proceeded to curse at us calling us bitches and such.
Alyssa eventually brought on the crazy Puerto Rican, encouraging her crackhead theory.
Then, Vinnie, one of my oldest and best friends and Val's boyfriend, hears her screaming at us and calling us slummy bitches and whatever else she could think up.
He comes over with his hands outstretched at his waist, palms up and he said very calmly, "Just everybody relax, let's talk through this."
She starts screaming again and told him to "get his fucking hands out of her face and fuck off."
I give Vinnie credit for his levelheadedness up to this point.
He said, "Okay, my hands are down. Lets just calm down."
"No, I'm not going to fucking calm down, these fucking bitches are cutting my kids."
Oh, and how she said the magic words.
"Listen, you need to calm the fuck down. Don't call my friends or my girlfriend bitches. You understand me?"
They started screaming back and forth.
Ivan, Tyler, and Christian grabbed Vinnie and pulled him forward to the front of the line before he could do something stupid because he was really getting mad.
Honestly, it was the maddest I ever saw him.
Alyssa said, "Whatever, lady. Just fucking chill. It's done. It's not a big deal."
She went to the front of the line to rant about crazy white women and their lines.
I turned to her, very calmly because I have no reason to yell, and said, "Listen, ma'am, can I just explain what was happening? I think its only fair that I tell you what is going on."
She then proceeds to get in my face, and screams "I don't want to fucking hear anything from you. Shut the fuck up, and get out of my face(again she got in my face) You're pathetic, cutting children."
Alright, fine. Crazy.
I moved in front of Val because I was afraid Val was going to lose it again and this psycho wasn't worth it.
Val's dad came over to have a sip of Val's lemonade, and Val said something to the effect of "No, Dad. You're cutting. Back of the line."
She was still very unhappy.
The lady goes, "Oh, is this your daughter? I think you should know what their doing."
She goes on about how we're cutting, how she was behind the kid in front of us and how she doesn't see how he can allow that.
Val's dad just drank his lemonade and stared at her.
He commented on how tasty it was and asked where he could get his own.
He then proceeded to get his own lemonade.
In the end, the ride seats about forty and the lady got on the same ride as us.
We mocked her for the remainder of the wait.
We would move around among our group and push and yell about how cutting isn't tolerated.
Maybe not mature, but fun.
Couple hours go by.
We stayed in our big group until they wanted to go on the "Orbiter" again.
Vinnie, Ivan, and I were too queasy.
They go to get on line and Vinnie announces that he has pee really bad.
I told him we'd walk him to the porter-potty's.
He didn't want to go in one because so many people were using them and even the clean ones creep him out.
Something about the smell or whatever.
Behind the rides, there were the carnie's trailers and then woods.
Vinnie wanted to just go to the bathroom in the woods.
We separate from the group and walk behind the rides.
We go far enough that we're in the dark.
We here some guy yelling after us.
He was shouting something like, "Hey, where the hell do you think you're going?"
I figured it was just a carnie who thought we were breaking into the trailers.
I turned to him and said, "Oh, he just wants to run into the woods and go to the bathroom."
I figured a carnie would understand.
The guy, however, is not a carnie.
He starts yelling about how Vinnie threatened his wife.
He was walking all aggressively towards Vinnie, saying, "Not so tough now, are you? You think you're a fucking hot shot."
I don't know what this guy was thinking.
3 on 1 is hardly fair.
Even if he didn't consider me a threat, which would be wrong, 2 on 1 sucks pretty hard too.
Vinnie's small, but you can see that he's strong, and Ivan was bigger than he was.
Whatever.
He started asking us "where the fuck we thought we were going."
I forget what he said, but he made it clear that he thought we were going to smoke weed or crack or crystal meth or whatever it was he thought we were into.
So, he's standing about 10 feet away from Vinnie.
He goes, "Come on wise ass. Come with me."
Vinnie was like, "Dude, I don't know who the fuck you are, and I'm not going anywhere with you."
He goes, "Come on. We're going over here."
This went on for about thirty seconds when he grabbed Vinnie's arm and told him that he was coming with him.
My dad's assistant chief of the Fire Department, and it was the fire departments carnival.
There were firemen everywhere, and the occasional cop.
I had just seen my dad where we left our friends. I knew that he was right on the other side of the truck that was blocking all the light.
As soon as he grabbed Vinnie, I ran for my dad or whoever I could find.
I was afraid he was going to hit him.
Like, are you fucking kidding?
It's dark.
We didn't know who this guy was.
He grabbed him.
We don't know if he had a knife.
Fuck that.
I'm getting reinforcements.
My dad was still there.
I explained to him quickly that some lady thought we cut her kids but we didn't and now her husband was going after Vinnie.
My dad loves Vinnie.
When I was in kindergarten, he wanted me to marry him because he wanted Vinnie Calabrese to be his son-in-law.
My dad screams for a couple other guys.
They come back with me.
Apparently, while I was gone, the guy told them that he was going to arrest them.
Ivan asked him on what charges.
Then, he asked if he was even a cop.
Before he could answer, I had half a duty crew back with me.
They separated them.
They surrounded the guy, and asked him what the deal was.
He said that Vinnie had made an aggressive motion towards his wife and threatened to "punch her in the face and knock her out."
Which was complete shit.
I managed to keep Vinnie quiet by some miracle throughout this.
Billy, who's the head chief, asked him if he had actually seen this happen.
He got all mad saying that it was his wife who told him, but no.
Then, he said, "Well, why don't you ask them what they're doing back here in the dark?"
They asked Vinnie what we were doing back there.
Vinnie said that he was just going to go to the bathroom in the woods and that Ivan and I didn't want him to go alone so we were going to wait for him there, which wound up being a good call because this fucking maniac showed up.
The guy goes, "Yeah, what crap, you're obviously already stoned and you're going to do drugs, you freaking crackheads."
At this point, my dad piped in, although he shouldn't have, and informed him that I, the crackhead, was his daughter, and he'd better cut the slanderous crap because I wasn't high.
He continued with his story and said that he just wanted Vinnie to come with him and how he wouldn't come with him.
One of the guys said,"Well, yeah. I wouldn't go with you either. He doesn't know you. Why would he go with you? Why did you want him to go with you?"
Now, my dad shouldn't have said anything before because now the guy knows that I'm his daughter.
He's like "Well, there you go, you know the fucking kids. What fucking bullshit. I get it. You know him so he can just do whatever the fuck he wants. He can fucking cut kids, threaten women, but its okay because he's hooked up."
He started ranting and screaming, and Billy, who prides himself on being very fair, started yelling at him.
He was like "LISTEN, you have NO PROOF that he threatened your wife, you even said you didn't see it. It's hearsay. There was no reason for you to come after him. You have absolutely NO RIGHT to demand he follow you anywhere. I'm sorry that you and your wife aren't enjoying yourselves, but that's all I can do for you."
Neither my dad nor I have ever seen him that angry and we've known him for a long time.
They listened to Vinnie's, Ivan's and my side of the story, which was much more plausible because the guy changed his story three times over the course of five minutes and ours were all the same.
They found out later that they had had trouble with him earlier somewhere else.
People are fucking crazy.
Billy told my dad that he wished he hadn't said anything because he wanted the guy to talk himself into a hole.
Oh, well.
He's insane.
There were more fights later on.
Some girl was yelling about being raped.
They were all drunk, high or both.
It was funny.
(She wasn't really raped, don't worry).
- Mood:
Bemused
Purge
Tired
Lazy
